Dear Reader

I love this frog!

It was a cold morning here in Hamilton. Cold and full of sunshine when we opened our lounge windows to be greeted by this cheery fellow. He was happy to see the sun too. He reminds me to enjoy the warmth of the sun, even in the cold of winter!

The best character strength to teach your children

This is a little book I wrote, and ten-year-old granddaughter Bella illustrated, about 15 years ago. There's a back story about Beatrice, but I'll share that another time. In this story she learns about compassion, a trait akin to kindness. If you're curious, it's free to download on Amazon Kindle.

I picked up my copy of this little book and started to think about kindness. I thought about the Dalai Lama who said My religion is kindness. Although I don't embrace any formal religion, my own spirituality is informed and shaped by this sentiment. My religion, if I have to have one, is kindness.

Beatrice's story led me to think about the people who have shown kindness to me over the years - those who extended a learning opportunity. As a mother of youngsters, I was forever hearing 'It's not fair!' and I struggled to be both fair and to take into account each child's unique need at the time. My friend Betty saw my struggle and shared with me how she had stopped yielding to the call for "fairness" and instead focussed on sharing the practice of being kind with her brood.

I found that accentuating the kindness in the situation took the stress away. I notice an enduring element of kindness in all my children, and their children, that warms my heart. Focusing on kindness brought an element into our lives that lead to new activities like 'being a pixie'.

We played 'pixies' often. We'd choose someone to do something nice or something kind for. The aim was to do it without the person ever knowing it came from you. If the person found out, we would start over. I loved seeing the fun we had thinking up 'kind' acts for our family, neighbours and friends. We all loved the 'secret' element of the game.

Years ago when I was a young widow struggling to manage my home and two young children, I was given my first lesson in the importance of accepting kindness. I was struggling to start my lawn mower. My neighbour jumped the fence and offered to start it for me, which I gratefully accepted. Then, to my horror, he started to mow the lawn. I'll never forget what he said when I protested:

"Why would you deny me the blessings that come from helping you?" That shut down my protests.

Today I have experienced an abundance of others' kindnesses to me. I've also had the opportunity to be kind to someone else. It amazes me how good it feels to do something kind. All this in one day.

Neil and I went for a walk. We were stopped by a woman whose phone was out of battery. She was so apologetic as she asked for directions. I reassured her it was not a problem and we opened our phone to the maps and showed her what route to take. She was grateful, but it wasn't only her gratitude that got me. It was my own gratitude that we actually were asked, that she felt safe to stop us and ask us for help. It was a bonus that we actually could help her.

These memories and experiences have made me more determined to accept someone else's offers of assistance. There is joy in receiving and there is joy in giving. I want to give that joy, and receive it as well

Today was a day of lots of kindnesses observed, received, and given. I look forward to more of the same in the days and weeks ahead.

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Health Update

I have to admit I was falling into a fit of depression last week. The headaches still haven't cleared and the struggles with my double vision have been debilitating.

I have two pairs of glasses with prism prescriptions. Through the day one or the other pair would give me a bit of relief, not enough and not long enough to trust it to last. So still not driving. I started to feel sorry for myself. And then stopped and thought. There has to be a way!

I wondered what it would be like if I tried both pairs of glasses at the same time. It was a distraction to take me from the frustration. Maybe I'd think of something that would help if I played around with how I was feeling. BUT! I was surprised at the result.

When I put both pairs on, one on top of the other, I could see 90% perfectly! Enough for me to call out to Neil - "Let's go for a long walk! I can see!"

So, although those pesky health challenges are still with me, I can find some relief! I still can't drive, or read a book and computer work is tiring. But I will see the optometrist this week and I am hopeful she will have some positive solutions for me!

May you find joy in both receiving and extending kindness over the coming weeks.

With love
Stephanie

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My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

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"My religion is kindness"

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back - buttered”

Doris May Payne - my mother

"Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing"

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck"
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Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

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