Dear Reader

Advice from a book summary

I came across a post in Facebook discussing a book the writer had previously read. The title appealed to me, and, as I'm still not reading, I enjoyed her summary It might appeal to you, if you've ever wished you'd kept your mouth shut too.

One quote from the book struck a chord with me and brought back a flood of memories,

"Just Because You Can Say It Doesn’t Mean You Should: Karen opened with something that immediately gripped me: the freedom to speak doesn’t come with the license to say everything. She shared moments where her unchecked words caused unintended pain. I found myself nodding, remembering times I let honesty trump kindness. This lesson made me pause and ask: Is what I’m about to say helpful, or just a reaction? For anyone with a quick tongue or a tendency to “tell it like it is,” this truth humbles and heals."

I was reminded of a time a group of us women were chatting over morning tea. I can't remember how an absent member's name came up (I'll call her Trina) but soon I was mouthing off about her choice of husband. "Trina is so beautiful, inside and out. Why do you think she married Bill? He's such a slob compared to her." I probably illustrated this comment with some unkind (but true) observations.

Then I was interrupted by a quiet voice telling us of a discussion she'd had with Bill's sister. "She was full of praise for Trina, and deep gratitude for the changes they'd seen in Bill since Trina came into his life." Not one word of censure came from her mouth, but I got the message, loud and clear.

I could tell you about many times I wished I had understood that just because I can say it (and even when it needed to be heard) it doesn't mean I should take it on myself to be the one telling it. It's enough to say I've learned over the years to not have such a 'quick tongue' and to check whether it is my place to 'tell it like it is',

When I can read comfortably again, I'm going to read Karen Ehman's book. I'm sure she has a lot to teach me still!

In the midst of winter, new growth foreshadows spring

It was a cold, frosty morning yesterday. Still the frog from last newsletter smiled in the sunshine. And more than this sweet inanimate creature, new growth is pushing its way into the light.

Tulips are one of my favourite flowers and now I see why. In the midst of cold and darkness (metaphorically or otherwise) tulips bravely pushing through the cold earth into the light give me a clear reminder that there is indeed "light at the end of the tunnel". Before their promise is fully realised, they have gladdened my heart and confirmed hope into my day.

I'm being reflective lately. That comes from not being able to engage in a lot of busy-ness.

Health Update

A couple of days ago I drove the car by myself for the first time in several weeks - to the supermarket. And I shopped by myself as well. It was a joy. Neil reminded me that on a recent walk I read the weird text on a car's personal numberplate before he could - confirming what I'd hoped - I'm either getting used to my "piggy-backed" glasses, or my sight is improving. So I took myself off to the supermarket, up and down the aisles, filling the trolley with the supplies we needed, and home again with no stress or mishap. Proud of myself.

Fun fact: "Piggy-backing" glasses - wearing two pairs as I've been doing for the past couple of weeks - is a 'technical' term used by my optometrist.

My trip to the optometrist has left me optimistic. No new prescription, but a way forward nevertheless. She is reluctant to give me a new prescription because, in her opinion, my double vision will benefit from some eye exercises to strengthen the eye muscles. She thinks a new prescription will act as a crutch and further weaken the muscles, resulting in a need for a stronger prescription, and an increase once more in this double vision problem I'm currently experiencing. Makes sense to me.

These eye exercises will be determined by an ophthalmologist specialising in strabismus (a vision condition where the eyes don't properly align with each other when looking at an object). This condition was identified by the ophthalmologist I saw a couple of weeks ago and confirmed by the optometrist.

It appears the best person in Hamilton has just retired and working just one day a week, only seeing existing patients. It happens that I saw him briefly a few years ago when he was consulted by a fellow ophthalmologist who was examining my eyes and the double vision. This was enough to encourage him to see me and I have an appointment with him this week.

It's been about three months or more now since this problem started. I am forever amazed and grateful that I've been seen by the right person every step of the way - in the right sequence to diagnose and build up a picture of what's happening and who can help me at the next step.

I'm hopeful that the exercises will help and then it will be time to see whether I will need to continue with my current glasses, and/or what prescription will work. And I'm wondering if, at this stage in my life, will my eye muscles respond to a programme of exercises? I suspect yes, and why not? The rest of my body has been enjoying the strength training I've been doing at the gym this past few months and I've been building muscles. There's no doubt, in my mind, that my eye muscles will enjoy that too!

Watch this space!

Thank you for your well wishes. It means a lot to know you are sending kind thoughts for healing in my direction.

With love
Stephanie

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My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

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"My religion is kindness"

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back - buttered”

Doris May Payne - my mother

"Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing"

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck"
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Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

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