Dear Reader

A mixture of emotions

What an emotional two weeks - well, thirteen days - our recent trip to Australia was for me. I'm amazed at the capacity of the human heart to feel both joy and heartbreak at the same time. And this is what I felt during the following events of our visit.

• Neil and I accompanied my youngest daughter, Suraya, to Brisbane where a week after our arrival she left for Darwin to be with her partner, Silas. This was both a joyous and heartbreaking time for me. I am thrilled for her - I have no fears for her well-being and know that this is the very best thing for her. And I'd be lying if I didn't admit to the heartbreak at not having her visit me every Thursday - sure, video messaging is great and I look forward to that. What I know can't be replaced is the warmth of our hugs, the companionable breaks in our conversations. Already life feels different without her here in our country. Plans are already forming to visit her and Silas in Darwin.
• While in Brisbane, we stayed with Amy, another daughter, and her partner, Jamie. We got to meet Jess, Amy's best friend, who stayed with them as well for a few days. While we flitted around in Amy's car she generously loaned us, I was very aware that I was missing out on spending precious time with her.
• I've previously shared a little of my sister Megan's bereavement. We were able to spend two days with her and catch up with my grand-nephew Matt and his partner Susan. We also joined Megan and my nieces, Jane and Maddie, for a meal. Pure bliss to be with them. Especially to hold my sister and listen to her reminisce about her husband. We had some wonderful shared times together over the 52 years they were married. Her heartache is mine, mine is hers. We laughed and cried, as we always did, always will, when we are together. It was wonderful to be able to spend time with her. And then we had to leave - the time was heartbreakingly short.
• We got to: spend time with good friends, a much loved cousin, my aunty who's just turned 90, a dear friend I've known since she was a baby, and finally meet a cousin on my father's side who I'd met through Ancestry.com. All wonderful connections, and definitely not enough time spent with them.

• While visiting with Phoebe (and her husband Ewen), we caught up with all her children except Logan who was greatly missed. Logan lives in Germany (he features in my memoir An Addict in the Family as Darius). It was a glorious time with them, to see the wonderful men and women they have grown into, to see the next generation growing in confidence and skill, to hold them in my arms and express my love and pride in them. Parker and Summer, and Hannah, all live on the 50 acre property Phoebe and Ewen have bought in west Queensland. We had no time to visit the property this time, but it's definitely on the list for a future visit.

The joy far outweighs the heartache of leaving them all behind. And of course there is another list of family and friends I didn't get to visit. There'll be more trips across the ditch with opportunities to catch up. And I dare say it, there'll be more heartbreak moments.

And now I've listed what we did, who we saw - I realise it's a lot to pack into thirteen days. This means - more frequent visits across the ditch and making more time to see people. Any ideas how you achieve this balance are welcome!

More benefits of being away from home.

Neil and I have been considering selling our place, downsizing and going into a retirement village. We have plenty to choose from around here.

The inspiration for this came from our neighbours who have recently made the move. Bruce told us: "We want to do this while we have the choice and it's not thrust on us."

I totally understand that. My recent bout with whatever the cause of my eye problems was shows me how vulnerable I am. I really don't like it that when I'm out of action, Neil has to take over the majority of what needs to be done.

We looked around and saw options we could live with. I've been committed to clearing out stuff from the house we no longer need - I no longer need! - and have continued doing that. We talked with folk we know in the villages. It seems a viable option, when the time is right.

I must admit I was more than a trifle nervous going to Australia. I didn't know how I was going to cope with limited eyesight. I'm pleased to say that I managed very well - with stairs, unfamiliar terrain, and even driving. Neil is a great navigator and he took on that job while I drove. No problems there.

We bounced the idea of the retirement village around with our loved ones. Everyone had an opinion and comment to inform our research. We listened and discussed our options and people's opinions and decided the time was 'not yet' for us to make that move. We love our house, our little community in our right-of-way and neighbourhood, our walks, the gym. And this time I think we are committed to getting help if we need it (when we need it) with gardening and housework, at least. Maybe we'll revisit this option in about five years!

We came home with a fresh outlook and a realisation that loving and being loved in our little part of the world is probably the most important thing for us. We have that in our neighbourhood and we have that with family and friends, whereever they may be in this wonderful world of ours.

Time moves on

Here we are, at the end of September with Spring well under way in the Southern Hemisphere. Spring heralds new beginnings and that's how I'm approaching life now. I've made arrangements to spend the afternoon with my daughter, Babette, who lives barely ten minutes drive away - what a blessing to spend time with her and have a great catch up with what's gone on in the past little while! So looking forward to it.

With love
Stephanie

Why I Write - for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

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"My religion is kindness"

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back - buttered”

Doris May Payne - my mother

"Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing"

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck"
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Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

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