I love to talk about what's going on in our lives, mine and yours. In my newsletters, I focus on those things that bring us joy, as well as the tough stuff that comes with being human. Through Memoir, I write about some of my hard life experiences including dealing with family addiction and the struggles of finding a sense of place. I write about the importance of connection in building resilience and finding joy and peace in our daily lives - insulating ourselves from this sometimes crazy world. Share your email below to receive the newsletter every two weeks.
Lessons from Disappointments
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Dear Reader More about life changesHow I started my last newsletter: "Life changes ...whether it's in our plans or not. And sometimes we're happy about it, sometimes we grin and bear it, and sometimes we only find the joy in the change as time passes." I'm surprised, and pleased, to see that I am finding the joy in the upheaval to our recent plans. I have to report that it's not happening. We're not moving - at least, not in the foreseeable future - although the way life flows, the "forseeable future" could be just around the corner. The past couple of weeks has brought me a deeper understanding of what makes me happiest. We put in our offer to buy a really lovely home, which we loved. Our offer was conditional on the sale of our house with a predicted settlement date of mid January. Although it was a good offer, and acceptable in many respects to the vendor, she accepted a cash offer that would enable her to move immediately. We knew this could happen and had become philosophical about the outcome. Whether it was to be our future home or whether we would be staying here, we knew we would be happy. We are happy to be staying in our current home. Little did I know when I started that Swedish Death Cleaning I wrote about in March this year that it would lead to a whole new perspective on our home life. I have achieved a good deal of cleaning out those things I didn't want my children to have to deal with in the future. Over the last few weeks both Neil and I have done an even deeper dive into the mysteries of storage boxes, "stuff" in the garage, drawers that are rarely opened. We found a pile of things we don't need that have been regifted or added to our city's landfill. And as a result, our home has benefitted greatly from being decluttered! Spaces are airier and brighter as a result. What surprises us both is how much we enjoyed the process and we have committed to a yearly Spring clean going forward. What else surprises us is the thought we had that the home we chose to move to, and now won't be going to, was "one-in-a-million" and a similar place will not come our way again for a long long time. A thought that was soon to be proven false. The day we got the news that our offer wasn't successful, we went to dine with our friend who lives in a different retirement village near us. It happens that her neighbours are selling their house and were happy for us to view it. Honestly, it was every bit as lovely as the one we missed out on - different but lovely. We realised that when the time comes for us to move we will find the perfect place for us. We won't keep looking at houses but we will keep researching different villages and their offerings and expectations of new residents. It's not just about the type of building and location - we've also realised that we need to be more open to each other's needs and wishes. We'll get help with the garden and housework to start and create an environment that will adapt as our needs change. We've also become more aware of each other's, and our own, social needs. In particular, what other things do we enjoy that don't depend on the other to do with us. It's an exciting phase in our lives. Moving into a new cycle of ageing is like an adventure we haven't really explored, or given much credibility to, before. And all through this past few weeks, I'm excited too to see that the issues we face have been explored by others. In Substack, I've come across several posts that have encouraged me to be joyful and to anticipate wonderful outcomes in the years ahead. It's often not only a physical adjustment, ageing, but a mental one as well. Here's an extract from The Health Today post, subtitled: You don’t age from living too long — you age from living disconnected from your own life. The comments below are drawn from the author's experiences visiting with the 300 centenarians in Japan. "...when I visited Japanese communities with some of the world’s highest concentrations of centenarians, what I discovered contradicted everything I thought I knew.
These elders aren’t trying to extend their lives.
They’re protecting their aliveness.
And they do it through small, nearly invisible habits — each lasting less than one minute.
After practicing their daily rituals for six months, my anxiety decreased, my sleep stabilized, my digestion improved, and my life regained a sense of quiet steadiness I hadn’t felt in years.
None of these habits require money, discipline, or willpower.
They require attention.
Here are the seven one-minute habits that changed everything. 1. One Minute of Morning SunThe first act of the day is stepping outside — even if only to the doorstep — to let natural light hit the eyes. This single minute resets your internal clock, stabilizing mood-regulating hormones and preventing the late-night cortisol spikes that keep millions awake. You don’t need discipline. You need daylight. 2. One Minute of Deep Breathing Before MealsCentenarians breathe low into the belly — slowly, intentionally — before eating. This tells the nervous system: “It’s safe to digest.” If you eat while stressed, your body treats food like a threat. Calm first, nourish second. 3. One Minute of Gentle Joint MovementNot stretching. Just slowly rotating wrists, ankles, neck, shoulders. Joint movement lubricates the cartilage, nourishes connective tissue, and prevents the stiffness that accelerates aging more than time itself. You don’t maintain youth by force — You maintain it by keeping things flowing. 4. One Minute of Spoken GratitudeThey don’t think gratitude. Because spoken emotion activates different regions of the brain — signaling presence, grounding, and safety. The most common phrase I heard: “I am lucky to have woken today.” It is impossible to live richly if you do not first acknowledge that you are here. 5. One Minute Slowing the First BiteThe first bite sets the pace for the entire meal. They chew slowly — deliberately — teaching the body to digest with care rather than urgency. Digestion isn’t improved by what you eat, It’s improved by how you meet your food. 6. One Minute of TouchTouch was universal. A held hand, a shoulder squeeze, a gentle hug. This releases oxytocin — the hormone of safety, bonding, immunity, regulation. Loneliness kills faster than cigarettes. Touch keeps us alive. 7. One Minute of Closure Before SleepInstead of scrolling themselves numb, they close the day with a sentence: “Today was enough.” This signals completion. Peace does not happen on its own. It must be invited." There are many similarly inspirational posts on Substack about healthy ageing. It feels like a blessing to have been encouraged to join this social media format. Here's to protecting our aliveness well into the future! With love, my friend. Why I Write - for you and for me too. Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart. I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward. My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond: "My religion is kindness" Dalai Lama “Cast your bread upon the waters and it will Doris May Payne - my mother "Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing" Helen Keller “Write it on my heart that every day is Ralph Waldo Emerson "Remember that sometimes not getting “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them, www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com FOLLOW ME
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Hi! I'm Stephanie Hammond
I love to talk about what's going on in our lives, mine and yours. In my newsletters, I focus on those things that bring us joy, as well as the tough stuff that comes with being human. Through Memoir, I write about some of my hard life experiences including dealing with family addiction and the struggles of finding a sense of place. I write about the importance of connection in building resilience and finding joy and peace in our daily lives - insulating ourselves from this sometimes crazy world. Share your email below to receive the newsletter every two weeks.
Dear Reader Life changes... ...whether it's in our plans or not. And sometimes we're happy about it, sometimes we grin and bear it, and sometimes we only find the joy in the change as time passes. Where I'm at in that cycle, I don't really know. Last night loud thunder claps woke me about 3 am and I couldn't get back to sleep. My thoughts are on our decision to move house. And in the wee hours of this morning I found myself grieving for the life we will be leaving behind. This isn't like some...
Dear Reader Enjoying the Sculpture Park If you've read my newsletters for a while you'll know how much Neil and I love our volunteering at the Waitakaruru Sculpture Park and Arboretum. The past few months with poor vision have been distressing for me as I haven't been able to help Neil in the Rock Garden. So, I was excited to join him this weekend and absorb the garden's Spring offerings and to see the new sculpture exhibition The Forgotten Forest. Have a look at their website to see this...
Dear Reader A mixture of emotions What an emotional two weeks - well, thirteen days - our recent trip to Australia was for me. I'm amazed at the capacity of the human heart to feel both joy and heartbreak at the same time. And this is what I felt during the following events of our visit. Neil and I accompanied my youngest daughter, Suraya, to Brisbane where a week after our arrival she left for Darwin to be with her partner, Silas. This was both a joyous and heartbreaking time for me. I am...