I love to talk about what's going on in our lives, mine and yours. In my newsletters, I focus on those things that bring us joy, as well as the tough stuff that comes with being human. Through Memoir, I write about some of my hard life experiences including dealing with family addiction and the struggles of finding a sense of place. I write about the importance of connection in building resilience and finding joy and peace in our daily lives - insulating ourselves from this sometimes crazy world. Share your email below to receive the newsletter every two weeks.
The Four Agreements - part of a wider lesson
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Dear Reader I've had a challenging, and rewarding, two weeks. Bear with me as I put together a few seemingly unrelated things to give you a picture. It's left me feeling hopeful and excited at the possibilities for a future of greater clarity and depth to the resilience I know is mine. I hope you glean something from my writings that will give you courage to find something that works for you too, in your own way, for your own challenges. The Four AgreementsHave you read Don Miguel Ruiz' book The Four Agreements? I've been reminded of these agreements lately - through my own thoughts and actions, I'm sorry to admit. I love how this little book helps realign my thinking and brings me out of a downward spiral. The second and third agreements are most relevant to my story although I can relate to the first and last as well!
2. Don't take anything personally and 3. Don't make assumptions While I don't always recognise I am taking things personally, I have to admit I have been so very angry lately and it's mainly because of the assumptions I've been making about our new neighbour.
I've been angry on behalf of every one of us. Angry to the extent I was about to explode! I was taking this personally - and above all, making assumptions that the new neighbour was deliberately being disrespectful of us and ignoring our safety and peace of mind. I've been breaking the second and third agreements big time.
The universe is always in your favour. You only have to decide what it is you want. On Wednesday, before I received Jane's message, I was beginning to learn the truth of this. While I was having a blissful massage, events were unfolding to give me what I was asking for: to meet our new neighbour and get some communication going to let us all know who, what, when people were expected down the ROW. Add in a little consideration for those needing access and I'll be happy. While I was on the massage table, the workers installing a connection to the stormwater cut through the gas pipe. Three fire trucks, sirens blaring, and the gas installers came and all the residents were evacuated out to the footpath. To be honest, I am grateful I wasn't there. I'm ashamed to say, I would have exploded, given the depth of my anger. As it was, when I came home, all the drama had subsided. And now I wasn't the only one ready to get some communication going. The owner came to see what had happened and we got to discuss our concerns with him. My impression on meeting him is he's a lovely person. He acknowledges he's been busy and just not as thoughtful as he ought to have been. A more rational me can see this and 'forgive' him. As a result of the gas pipe being cut, by the end of the day I had the agreement of everyone concerned with the ROW to form a WhatsApp chat group so we could air our concerns and, most importantly, be informed by the owner of the work. Our new neighbour is in agreement.
I have to remind myself to be gentle with me. Time to reread The Four Agreements and pick up the copy of his new book: The Fifth Agreement - "Be skeptical but learn to listen". I'm learning this too!
This is my self-appointed task now - find something to make my heart sing, every day. I'm reminding myself of all those things I share about self care. It's not just for the BIG things in life, but for every moment of the day. I started with the garden and noticing a spectacular showing of spring bulbs in the middle of winter. So apt. It's not Spring yet, is it?Tulips are my favourite spring bulbs. I've planted them in three places this year. Here's the first of them to push through and share with us their beauty. I'm grateful for the healing power tulips have to soothe my self-inflicted wounded soul.
Have you heard of kinesiology? She uses it to identify what's affecting my body - look it up if you're interested. Short summary of our visit, and very relevant to my situation, she's identified a situation called Pyrrole Disorder. This is the introduction from a 9-page document she sent me explaining Pyrroles.
Moody. That's the word loved ones, friends, and co-workers usually use to describe the person in their life suffering from untreated pyrrole disorder. Everyone walks on eggshells whenever this person is around. No one ever knows what's going to set them off. Like a time bomb ticking away, stress continually builds inside the pyroluric's body until a full-blown eruption occurs. Then the damage is done. Bridges are burned, feelings hurt, and grudges formed. It's not uncommon to see patterns of relationship issues with pyroluric patients, both adult and adolescent.
... an inability to handle stress without "blowing a gasket". There is an inner tension that these clients attempt to tame, often quite unsuCcessfully. Without warning there can be fluctuations in mood and behaviour. The sufferer may blame others, be quick to argue, and deny charges laid against them by family members.
If you identify with these two brief descriptions, I'm happy to share the document with you! Just reply to this email. I recognise myself in these paragraphs. If you don't see this in me, I'm so very very grateful! If you do, I apologise! I'm now taking Vitamin B and Magnesium which are some of the nutrients not properly absorbed in the pyroluric sufferer. Another thing I learned today is: Pyrrole Disorder runs in families. I'll be sharing this document and information with my family, for sure! All this leads me to a little update on the ongoing saga of my eyesight. Health UpdateOh dear! I really thought that after my last update that things would get better and better and I'd be reporting that I'm back to normal. Things are improving. I am reading - via Kindle only, and that's wonderful. So many books to read! I'm toying with getting a subscription for audio books but prefer to read. I'm still enjoying life. In amongst the 'horror' of the last few days, I am able to wear just ONE PAIR OF GLASSES - instead of my piggybacked duo. However, I've received the written report from my last ophthalmologist appointment. I'm learning more about the eyes - more than I ever knew or thought I'd need to know. He's used some terms I've never heard of or considered before. He suggests I will have to adjust to a new form of 'normal'. It seems that the catalyst for the whole sorry event will probably never be clear. What he's identified is a weakness in the extraocular muscle pulley mechanism (known as snagging orbit syndrome). Briefly, this means my eyes do not align properly in all directions of gaze. Practially speaking, both eyes don't move together and I don't see clearly when looking down. This situation makes it awkward going down stairs, over rough ground etc. Prognosis - be careful! And it may improve. It is encouraging to me that I have progressed to a single pair of glasses. I anticipate this will continue and that come September, or earlier, I will have a new prescription. Certainly I'll be talking with my optician by then. My visit to the naturopath, and her use of kinesiology, gives me hope that this weakness in the pulley situation may improve. I'm encouraged by having better vision with my glasses which have the earliest prescription of the pair. We all have bad days. When yours come, I hope you find ways to give yourself hope. Perhaps you will gain some insight from my niece's little message, my daughter's insight about needing self care, and from Don Miguel Ruiz' The Four Agreements. With love Why I Write - for you and for me too. Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart. I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward. My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond: "My religion is kindness" Dalai Lama “Cast your bread upon the waters and it will Doris May Payne - my mother "Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing" Helen Keller “Write it on my heart that every day is Ralph Waldo Emerson "Remember that sometimes not getting “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them, www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com FOLLOW ME
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Hi! I'm Stephanie Hammond
I love to talk about what's going on in our lives, mine and yours. In my newsletters, I focus on those things that bring us joy, as well as the tough stuff that comes with being human. Through Memoir, I write about some of my hard life experiences including dealing with family addiction and the struggles of finding a sense of place. I write about the importance of connection in building resilience and finding joy and peace in our daily lives - insulating ourselves from this sometimes crazy world. Share your email below to receive the newsletter every two weeks.
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