Dear Reader Life's Lessons - Does Hindsight Bring Understanding?If you challenged me, I could never count the number of times I might have said: "If only I'd known how this was going to turn out, I wouldn't have been so upset, worried, or afraid back then." I guess you've had a similar moments - times when something that seemed bad at first led to unexpected growth, insight, or even a silver lining. Hindsight can be a wonderful thing. It lets us look back on challenging experiences and recognise how we might have handled them differently. More importantly, it allows us to learn from them, equipping us for the future when similar situations arise. Take decision-making, for example. With travel, I've learned what's truly essential for my own comfort and safety - wisdom gained through trial and error. After once taking too few pairs of socks on a hiking trip, I now always pack extras to keep my feet warm and dry, even when my boots get soaked. Over time, I've learned what I can easily buy on the road (like body wash) and what's worth bringing from home (my favourite moisturiser). Small lessons, but they make a difference. But what about the bigger things? The times when life throws you something big and unexpected, and you have no choice but to adapt? Imagine uprooting your family, settling into a new home and community, just to have your partner transferred across the country within the year. You’re forced to move again, with no say in the matter. It’s natural to be frustrated. I certainly give myself permission to rant in those situation! (Setting a time limit on how long I can rant helps, but only if I remember to follow it.) Soon, though, the rational mind takes over. You start making decisions - do you sell your home or keep it, hoping for a return in time? You look for silver linings. Could this be an adventure? Will your family visit? Will you make new friends? With time, you might even come to appreciate the change. Perhaps the new place suits you better. A better job, deeper friendships, even reconnecting with long-lost friends - blessings that wouldn't have come without that upheaval. Of course, hindsight isn't always comforting. Sometimes, it reveals painful truths - mistakes made, opportunities missed, things we wish we’d done differently. Parenting is full of these moments. I wrote about our family’s experience in my memoir An Addict in the Family, sharing what I’ve learned about addiction and the role family dynamics can play. I know, without a doubt, that I was (and am) a good mother. But I also recognize that there were circumstances beyond my control that contributed to my son's struggles. I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had at the time. Would things have been different if I’d known then what I know now? Maybe. But would the ultimate outcome have changed? That, I can’t say. What I do know is this: my experiences have deepened my compassion for others going through their own struggles. We are all part of this human journey, living complex, unpredictable lives. None of us are exempt from hardship, but every challenge holds an opportunity for growth. If I could share one wish, it would be that we each find our own unique lesson in life’s difficulties. May we transform those lessons into strengths that lead us to our own expression of joy in living the life we’ve been given. With love My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond: "Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing" Helen Keller “Write it on my heart that every day is Ralph Waldo Emerson "Remember that sometimes not getting “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them, please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com Join my Reader's Group on Facebook. FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of |
I enjoy the fun things of life. And I love to write and to talk about life, mine and yours. Through Memoir, I write about some hard life experiences including dealing with family addiction and finding a sense of place. I write about the importance of connection in building resilience and finding joy and peace in our daily lives.
Dear Reader Daylight SavingsSome thoughts We put our clocks back at 2am on April 6th, and thus Autumn is here, soon to be followed by winter. I don't know about you. I just do not understand the logic (is there any?) of this Daylight Savings practice. I was born in Queensland in Australia. Queenslanders voted not to have Daylight Savings, so in the summer we in New Zealand become three hours ahead of Queensland but only 2 hours ahead of the rest of the Eastern States. In Queensland, there is...
Dear Reader Trees and Water - and Good Company The past two weeks have been a delightful feast of 'trees and water - and good company' for me! Have you ever anticipated something that didn't happen, then, years later, it's promised to you again? Years ago, my friend Tina tried to come visit us - and for various reasons got to the airline gate and was denied her flight. AND Wednesday week ago she finally arrived - bringing her friend, Cathy, with her (now our friend too!) We planned a feast....
Dear Reader Fear - What does it mean? Can you think of a time when something you perceived as a threat was not based on actual danger, but on your own view of the situation as a threat? Have you seen this meaning of fear in your life? F - False E - Evidence A - Appearing R - Real This acronym for FEAR has always intrigued me. And over the years I've drawn comfort from knowing that my fears are not necessarily based in reality. In fact, in hindsight I see that most of my fears have been...