Dear Reader

Lessons Learned

It's not always easy to recognise a mistake we make. I recently had a lesson in the consequences of not paying attention.

My oldest daughter and I take the opportunity to spend a few hours together nearly every week. Sometimes we hang out at my place. Sometimes we run errands together. A couple of weeks ago she had an appointment at the optometrist. I had a few errands to run nearby so we parked in the carpark under a small shopping mall where I had a shopping errand. I intended to take advantage of their free two-hour parking.

I entered the registration number into the pay machine which uses your vehicle's license plate number instead of a physical paper ticket. I was confident that there was plenty of time to do some errands and go to the optometrist.

However, I ended with a parking breach (or infringement) notice which, in my case, occured because I transposed the three last numbers and ended entering the wrong plate number. The cost? $70. I felt it was a unjust. The machine appeared to find my car and identified it as the right colour and make. So I was satisfied I qualified for the free parking.

I was offended that the human who processed the ticket couldn't see that that was my car with the numbers transposed, not a separate car with no right to park there. Had I been there when the ticket was processed I felt sure I could make a good case.

My husband advised me to just pay it. So I hopped on line and paid the fine. As it turns out, I read on the site that transposing numbers is not a legitimate defence. Had I protested and appealed the fine, I would have lost. And I would have expended energy that I would rather use elsewhere.

This reminds me of another time when I was prepared to appeal a judgement that I felt was unjust.

I had given notice to the letting agent that I would be vacating a home I was renting. There was a week between the day I actually left the property and the date my rent was paid up to. I would use the balance of my tenancy to return and tidy the property without any of my belongings there. I was determined to do a thorough clean of the property and grounds and get the substantial bond back.

However, when I returned to the house a couple of days before my tenancy actually ended, I found the landlady there with a skip and a couple of teenagers weeding. In addition to general weeding, they were filling the skip with clippings from a severe prune of trees and shrubs that I considered not to be part of my cleanup job.

I received a bill for the skip and the teenagers' labour costs, which was a major part of my bond. I debated this with the rental agent, explaining that I was still the tenant and no final inspection on their part should have been made until my tenancy ended.

Not receiving any joy from the letting agent, I lodged a complaint with the tenancy tribunal and received a date for the hearing.

I then received a call from the letting agent offering to reduce the amount deemed I owed to $50. Although I was still disgruntled, I accepted that offer and set about getting on with life. I was pleased that there was an implicit acknowledgement that my claim was valid.

During the months before vacating the premises and having completed my university studies, I applied for, and was subsequently interviewed for, seven positions. I was unsuccessful each time.

Then my dream job came up. I applied and was invited to an interview which fell on the same day of the now cancelled tenancy tribunal hearing.

I was successful in my application and went on to enjoy a rewarding and fulfilling career as a town planner and today I still see and enjoy the fruits of the work I participated in to make this city as beautiful and welcoming as it is.

My first project resulted in saving the lake in the image below which was within 60 hectares of farmland. The original intention was to open the land to housing but the outcome of the project was to maintain the integrity of the lake by restoring vegetation around it.

The photo was taken about 30 years after the beginning of my work and today, Council's vision for the Waiwhakareke Natural Heritage Park is to create a self-sustaining habitat, a goal that I am thrilled still to have played a small part in.

I've learned that not every battle needs to be fought. Letting it go often brings rewards we don't always anticipate at the time. I often reflect on how different the result of that job interview might have been had I elected to proceed with the hearing. I'm sure I would have expended a lot of energy preparing for and attending the hearing. At best I would have been distracted and and not in my best for the interview. The results could have been so different for my involvement in planning Hamilton's urban environment.

Writing Projects

The passing of my sister left me looking for a way to honour her faith in me and the love we have for each other. I believe strongly in an afterlife. Personally, I've had many conversations with those who are "on the other side" - my sister included. So I know she is still close to me. Closer in some regards than before.

After the inspiration of the Ages of Pages Book Fair I have looked at getting back into my writing projects, specifically to write something I can talk with my sister about.

My memoir, An Addict in the Family, has been transformational for me in many regards and I've decided to pick a couple of themes from the book and from its aftermath and write another memoir.

Maybe there are no addicts in my family. I'm not medically qualified to judge. From my own experience, though, I see patterns running through the family of using a substance or particular activity to help cope with trauma.

Writing my Addict memoir clarified for me that my own response to trauma. relates historically back through the generations to my 3rd great-grandmother. Through the writing, I anticipate I'll learn a lot more about myself. Scary though that thought is, I can't wait to get stuck in to research and write.

I'm always open to hearing about whether what I share in my newsletters resonates with you. And whether this type of memoir is one you would like to read. And I'd love to know if memoir is even a genre you enjoy.

One thing I know from talking with others is, our human stories all resonate with each other in one form or another. I write for me, to honour my family members, and for you too. The threads of our shared humanity run deep and strong in each of us.

Till next time,

With love, always,
Stephanie

Ages of Pages Book Fair - Hamilton, NZ May 1st 2027

I'm getting in early to invite you to the Ages of Pages Book Fair 2027! If things go haywire for me, at least you'll have this invite to refer to earlier to the time. I'll be there and so will my daughter Phoebe. Along with over 140 other authors and book vendors.

Once the website for 2027 is up I'll share the link here. In the meantime, I'm keeping this invite up on the newsletter.

Why I Write - for you and for me too.

Some stories come from lived experience, like navigating my son’s addiction and the long road of recovery. Others are shaped by imagination, like the cozy mystery I’m writing, set in a small café where trust is both tested and rebuilt. Some of my life stories still bring tears. Others make me smile. And many are filled with memories that warm my heart.

I write for anyone who’s ever carried a burden across generations, and for anyone who longs to heal forward.

I write to bring a little encouragement, comfort and joy into my life and yours.

With love,
Stephanie

My thoughts for Living Life in 2026 and beyond:

"My religion is kindness"

Dalai Lama

“Cast your bread upon the waters and it will
come back - buttered”

Doris May Payne - my mother

"Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing"

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck"
​​
Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them,
please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe
through my website:

www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

FOLLOW ME
Join me on my Substack.
Like, post and comment at any of the links below.

​​​