Dear Reader

Feeling even better!

I'm thrilled to be able to report that I'm feeling a lot better and hopeful that this may continue. I know there's a way to go, but every day I'm noticing small improvements in how I can do things. Thank you! You've touched my heart with your well wishes!

We've even been able to get out in the garden. The people before us loved their gardens to be covered in river stones. Unfortunately, the stones have mixed with a lot of soil which meant that weeds and flowers naturalised in both gardens. We've spent quite a while taking out the stones and have now covered the area with bark and forest floor mulch. This photo is along the path to the front door.

I'll share update photos as the plants grow. We've planted low growing hebes in the left hand garden taken from cuttings of other plants in the garden. It's my office window that looks out on the flowering Hokey Pokey rose bush. A lovely inspiration!

Newsletters that inspire me

Talking of inspiration, I feel truly blessed to have come across some amazing people who share their lives with others through their newsletters. I look forward to these messages like I used to anticipate letters by snail-mail.

I am often prompted to reflect on the past, like today when I was reading a missive from Rachael Herron. Rachael is a fellow writer whose mission is to inspire other writers. Today's message was how to silence your inner Jackass and I thought I'd share some of it with you - and my reflections on this concept.

"Inner Jackass" is her description of our inner critic and I know we all have this voice in our heads, not just writers! I know because the first inner critic I had to silence was the voice of my three-year-old self.

Rachael lists the things that an inner voice often says - you can fill in the gaps:

• You’re not ready to ... this.
• Who are YOU to ...?
• This has been done a million times, and your work is worse than most.
• You’re not smart enough.
• Your effort is so boring it could replace melatonin.
• No one wants to hear what you have to say.

The most telling thing is that we listen to this voice putting us down when, honestly, we would never listen to someone talking to us like this. We'd run a mile from them.

I had a lot of quirky things to say when people wanted to talk to me about things I felt uncomfortable about. But when it came to that inner voice, I just let it say what it did, and although I'd argue with it, it never seemed to shut up.

It takes a long time to learn that what that voice says is a LIE. And when I found out that my voice was that of my three-year-old self, I realised I had to first understand her motivation, and then find a way to ignore her.

I watched and listened for a while and what I found out was that she was afraid for me. She'd been hurt, WE'D been hurt, so many times, she wanted to protect me. So she was trying her best to stop me from ... well, from making a fool of myself, or being embarrassed, or putting myself in danger.

So what made me feel safe as a three-year-old? Playing in the yard with my cousins and brother, mostly. Of course I couldn't conjure up that specific time for her again, so what I did do was, in my imagination, build a big outlandish sand pit with all the modern construction toys for her to play with. Then, when she started in with her critical voice (warning me in her own way of danger), I talked with her. I'd say: "I'm OK, thank you for caring about me. You go and play in the sandpit and if I need you, I promise I'll call." It took a few months, maybe even years, but eventually my child self was content to let me manage my life and she forgot all about me, playing as children should feel safe to do.

I was successful at silencing the critic when I realised she was a younger version of myself. But what of that voice that now tells me I just can't write that story I'm longing to share? All those rude things that Rachael's Jackass tells her I hear too about my desire to write all those books that sit on my shelves in my imagination.

How do I silence the voice this time - because it isn't my three-year-old self! Rachael says to ignore it. Don't argue with it. You'll lose if you do and you'll only give the critic more ways to outmanouvre you.

And I love that she says the voice's:

... sole mission is keeping you small and safe, colouring inside the lines. It will always outmaneuvre you because that's literally its only job.

And when I read that, I was transported back to the first few days of school as a five-year-old. Mrs Jackson was my teacher - over 70 years and I can still see her face, hear her voice, and quiver. The task was to "colour in an outline of a young child as myself. And be quick. See who can be first".

What little kid doesn't want to be praised for doing a good job when they just started school? I certainly did. Unfortunately, I picked up on the "quick" bit of the task, not the "colour inside the lines" part.

In not colouring within the lines, I'd set the tone for our relationship for the whole year! And it wasn't pretty.

I didn't know it then, but that experience set me up for living life within the lines of social expectation. Now, thank goodness, I think I'm old enough to press the mute button on the voices shouting at me about the 'shoulds' of life and do mostly what makes me feel the joy of living.

After all, that's our birthright as humans living on this amazing planet! And what brings me joy is writing!

Update on my writing projects

I spent a large part of yesterday afternoon updating my projects on my website. I'm thrilled to see some things that I've been fearful of acknowledging I want to share have made it to the list. Curious? Click on this link to see, and let me know what you most want to read - or if you don't want to read any of it, I'd love to know that too. https://www.stephaniehammondauthor.com/now​

Hit reply to this email to let me know, or find me on Facebook (click the icon below) and/or join my Reader's Group on Facebook.​

Here's the draft cover for the cozy mystery I'm working on. You can read more about it on the website page.

Till next time, may you find joy in all you do.

With love
Stephanie

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My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond:

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"Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing"

Helen Keller

“Write it on my heart that every day is
the best day of the year”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Remember that sometimes not getting
what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck"
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Dalai Lama

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.”

Nelson Mandela

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www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com

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