I enjoy the fun things of life. And I love to write and to talk about life, mine and yours. Through Memoir, I write about some hard life experiences including dealing with family addiction and finding a sense of place. I write about the importance of connection in building resilience and finding joy and peace in our daily lives.
F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real
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Dear Reader Fear - What does it mean?Can you think of a time when something you perceived as a threat was not based on actual danger, but on your own view of the situation as a threat? Have you seen this meaning of fear in your life? F - False E - Evidence A - Appearing R - Real This acronym for FEAR has always intrigued me. And over the years I've drawn comfort from knowing that my fears are not necessarily based in reality. In fact, in hindsight I see that most of my fears have been irrational. I grew up in AustraliaEvery Australian child who lives in the bush learns a healthy respect for reptiles. Snakes can be heard rustling in the underbrush. Snakes like to curl up in the rafters of the hen house. Snakes eat things that live in the bush too. We were taught to take a big stick with us and beat the ground with it while talking loudly. "Snakes are as afraid of you as you are of them," we were told. Some of us believed this. I always made sure I was with someone else, not quite ready to believe I was able to keep these creatures away. I had some opportunities to confront snakes while I still lived in Australia. I never actually touched one until I was living in the USA. Here I had three memorable encounters that left me with a great love and affinity for these beautiful creatures. Amicalola Falls State Park, GeorgiaMy friend Nicky took me to 'see' the Appalachian Trail. I dearly wanted to hike this amazing route and I'll be forever grateful that she took me to a place where I could at least stand on the trail. While we were in the vicinity, we visited the visitors centre to the Park. I was looking at some snakes in a display case when the attendant came over, took one out, and let me admire it up close. The phone rang and she put the snake on my shoulder saying, "Here, hold this while I answer the phone." My only fear was that it would be scared of me! I can still feel the softness of its skin. Amazing not to feel fear for myself! Gatorland in OrlandoWithin a few days of my visit to Nicky, I was staying in Orlando. I'm not one for the hype of such places, but I wanted to visit Gatorland. I had an idea for a story featuring crocodiles and thought this would be a great place for some research. It was! I was also thrilled to see there was a photo opportunity. AND as I was on my own, I got to hold both a baby Alligator and a snake! I was in heaven, as you can tell by the photo below. India, 2007About a month ago I shared a similar image to the one below in the newsletter. This photo was taken in 2007 on a guided trip to India. There were seventeen of us travelling from the USA. How I got to go on this Buddhist pilgrimage is a story in itself. It's not that story I want to share here though. On that trip, I was the only one of our group who wanted to come remotely close to this gorgeous creature. The Secret - Overcoming FearsWhy was I unafraid? I wasn't always so. In fact, during the first few decades of my life I was petrified - of heights, of drowning, of snakes. For years, I spent so much time in fear, dodging situations that others were enjoying and finally I realised I was missing out on life. I decided to face those fears and turn them around. By 2005, I was ready to face the unknown, to explore the USA and get to know what I was really made of - would I shrivel up under the weight of all these fears, or would I finally break free. I'm sure you'll agree the photos tell it all. I have developed a love of snakes to the extent that I look forward to these sorts of encounters. I can feel some of you shuddering! But please, before you turn completely away from the possibility that you might enjoy being up close and personal with the object of your fear, let me share some important factors to keep in mind. First: Is your fear rational? Is it there to keep you or others safe. I looked around for an example to illustrate this and realise that there isn't one. Each situation is to be evaluated in the moment, looking at all the factors. What is a healthy fear today may be irrational tomorrow, and vice versa. Second: Is there a guide? And is that guide someone you can trust? In Amicalola, I quickly realised the attendant would never have given me the snake to hold if I was in any danger. Or if the snake was in danger from me. The same was true of the photo opportunity in Gatorland - in fact, the baby gator's mouth was taped to ensure I wasn't going to be bitten. I stood and watched several families have their photos taken before I judged the situation safe enough and the photographers careful. And finally, in India, with this young boy, I felt safest of all. In last month's newsletter you see me reaching out to touch the snake. I wanted to be sure my touch was acceptable to this lovely animal. It also gave me an opportunity to chat to the boy. No way would he be entrusted with this precious snake and with the duty to raise money, if he hadn't been trained properly. See how he is holding the head of the snake in this photo. Away from me and away from himself. Obviously taking good care. Best of all, he spoke quietly to me the whole time I had the snake around my neck. He reassured me several times with "You are safe, Madam, the snake won't hurt you." Third: And finally, remember that we all have the choice to live with irrational fear, or take steps to meet it head on. Having taken the chance to overcome fear, part or all of it, you might just find a way to live a more joyful life. The effort is well worth it. Maybe take one baby step to rid your life of one of those fears and see what that courage inspires you to do next. Whatever brings you joy, I hope you take a few minutes each day for yourself. With love My thoughts for Living Life in 2025 and beyond: "Life is a Daring Adventure or Nothing" Helen Keller “Write it on my heart that every day is Ralph Waldo Emerson "Remember that sometimes not getting “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave [person] is not [the one] who does not feel afraid, but [the one] who conquers that fear.” Nelson Mandela Read past Newsletters and, if you enjoy them, please share with your friends and encourage them to subscribe www.StephanieHammondAuthor.com Join my Reader's Group on Facebook. FOLLOW ME Like, post and comment at any of |
Hi! I'm Stephanie Hammond
I enjoy the fun things of life. And I love to write and to talk about life, mine and yours. Through Memoir, I write about some hard life experiences including dealing with family addiction and finding a sense of place. I write about the importance of connection in building resilience and finding joy and peace in our daily lives.
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